So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
