Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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