Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize