no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
smell my finger.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize