Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
