I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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