K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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