the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you would pick up someone in the library
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Why are your pants in the freezer?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
