i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
