You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
