When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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