Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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