make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
