theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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