Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
only if we run a train.
done.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
