I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I believe in your delicious
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
