yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
