this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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