i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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