My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
