ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
