i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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