I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
