My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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