I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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