No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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