I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
