Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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