I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Last time i carry you out of a forest
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
