so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
