Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
