Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
