do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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