idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
