She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My bed smells like the plague
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
