I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
You smell like stripper and shame
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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