So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
