The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
