Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
