Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
All the doctor said was why
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
