She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I didn't notice because vodka
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
