Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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