I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
