There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
