Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize