Your tits are I can't wait for
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
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