i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
