Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
