Sponge bath it is.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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