I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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