I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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