Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize