So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize