i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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