Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
