Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
