come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
