I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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