woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize